Facebook friends who make me facepalm and those who keep me on Facebook

We all have our Facebook faults, as well as finest moments.

Facebook friends who make me facepalm:

1. The ones who are always sharing tips/warnings/promos that are so obviously fake you have to wonder if they should ever be allowed within range of a wifi signal.
2. The ones who tend to share satirical news items thinking that they’re real news. Most often they are the same people as #1. I just feel that it deserves a separate item because it’s especially cringe-worthy.
3. The ones who post status messages in textspeak. Well, I’m just not going to read that. I’m probably not the target audience anyway.
4. The ones who are always angry. At every little thing. A little righteous indignation is ok, but constant complaining about First World problems is just making my eyes hurt from all the rolling.
5. The one who’s always posting baby pictures. Yes, I am fully aware that sometimes this person is me. Yes, I know there are countless other baby photos in the world and people don’t really need to see another one. No, I will not stop posting baby photos. I will, however, promise to never post baby poop photos, because apparently some people do that although fortunately not on my feed. Eeww, wtf dude.
6. I guess this is sort of the mother category of #5. The ones who are always posting about basically the same thing. Food pictures. Workout stats. Rants/raves about a tv show that I don’t watch. The keyword here is “always”. Really, there’s no need to share all of that all the time. Except maybe if it’s related to a particular cause/advocacy, because I do that too.
7. The ones posting tv/movie/book spoilers. How. Could. You. Okay I did this once before too, but c’mon. It was Harry Freaking Potter. I sort of assumed everyone knew that – um, nothing, forget it.
8. The one who was always posting selfies. Always. But thank God you stopped. Don’t go into relapse now.

Facebook friends who keep me on Facebook

1. The ones who manage to inject their humorous/wry wits even in posts about the most mundane things. I guess this is pretty subjective since we all have different wavelengths and sense of humor, but I am grateful that there these types of people in my Facebook network, including those that I am not even that close to in real life.
2. The ones who post interesting and thought-provoking links, whether they’re news, in-depth feature articles, or nonsensical lists much like this one. Again, “interesting” is pretty subjective, but to these people, thanks for the worthwhile reads. I hardly read the news or explore a lot of websites these days that there’s a big chance that if it didn’t appear in my Twitter/Facebook feed, I would never know about it.
3. The Facebook friends who are my close friends in real life. Yes, even those I don’t see very often. I’m still interested in knowing what you’re up to, so I’m thankful for social media for making that possible. Yes, let’s meet up in real life soon. Yes, we always say that. No, we probably won’t actually meet in the near future, but I’ll see you in the comment threads.
4. The positive thinkers who manage to inspire without being a humblebrag about it. It’s a fine line, a delicate balance. I’m happy for you, and thanks for the good vibes. That said, I’m sort of also looking forward to the day when everyone’s 100 happy days are over and they can post about stuff that make them happy without feeling the need to put a hashtag on it. Or, conversely, not feel the need to post anything at all because they have to fulfill some sort of happiness quota.
5. The ones who do things in the facepalm list but also do things on this list. Way to keep it interesting, yo. The beauty and complexity of the human spirit and all that. At the end of the day, really, to each his own. Walang pakialaman ng trip. As long you’re not actually triggering murderous thoughts within me, sure, post away. I can always hide you anyway. And vice versa.